Buhtt sex?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
