Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
