dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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