I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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