Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
