Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
