I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize