i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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