eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived