When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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