Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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