What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Terrible idea I love it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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