my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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