..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
