meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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