She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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