what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
