just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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