South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
