YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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