Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
