I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
