I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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