haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
