if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
