If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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