wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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