just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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