Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
