well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
