I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
