My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
