After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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