ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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