i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
