Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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