You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
