Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
