mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
