so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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