better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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