Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
