Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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