Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
