Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
