i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
