If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize