I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
