Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
