Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
honey bunches of taint.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
