Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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