Screwed.edu
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
