Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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