But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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