Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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