I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
