i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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