its not stalking. its research.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's official drugs can't kill me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
