Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
