Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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