Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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