the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
