Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
