Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
