Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
